Annie and My Perfection

Today was a wonderful day. Nothing happened to make it so, which is perhaps the best kind. There was no high involved from getting a present or partaking of a triple Mocha with whip. It just WAS. GOOD. Riding home on the bus from my single class today, the sun was shining, the breeze was heavier than usual and though never right, the world seemed ok. I felt perfectly content, the kind of contentedness that doesn't happen often, especially in America where we always want, want, want. I didn't want anything, I didn't need anything. I just existed, soaked up the beauty around me through every pore of my being. Wow. It's such an indescribable thing. It just feels sooooo good, so perfect. I really am at a loss for words. I just hope everyone gets that feeling once in awhile.

On a different topic, I found a fairly large lump on my smallest dog's neck last night. Lumps on dogs are like moles on people: fairly normal and fairly common. But some bumps, like moles, can be malignant. And this bump is a rather large mo-fo. It doesn't seem to bother Annie at all when I touch it, so I think that's a good sign. But I'm concerned that it's on her neck, where it could easily minimize her esophagus function. She has a vet appointment on Friday. I couldn't do it today cause I had to work and tomorrow I have classes all day. I'm looking forward to finding out the results. So often it is the uncertainty that drives people crazy. It certainly does me. The not-knowing is stressful. Even if she does have cancer (likely Lymphoma if anything), at least I will know and be able to go from there. Of course I don't want that, but not knowing doesn't make the cancer go away. So I just want to KNOW. But since I have the appointment set, I can let it go. I think about it on occasion but I know that the answer will soon arrive.

Annie is a unique dog. And it's not me who thinks that. When we used to go to the dog park, people there would ask me about her because she was so unusual. First, she walks as if she has arthritis so people think she's old. She's only six and since she is a small breed, they are less prone to arthritis that larger breeds. Then, she has an usually long snout. I think it is a little heavy because if there's nothing interesting happening, she just lets it hang down. So most of the time at the park, she is totally calm and quiet. But then there's the times she not. She has two settings: off and on. Most dogs have several settings. One person at the park calls her a wind-up toy because she sometimes goes nuts, constantly barking and running around with some dogs and the next minute, all her energy is seemingly gone and she is standing stock-still, head down. Another dog park goer told me if Annie were an actress, she would have won an Academy Award for her ability. I have thought she has a double personality. She is two opposites in one dog.