Training

I write about my dogs on here often but that's because they are my primary responsibility and also my primary problem at this point.
I'm paying for training for them, but also for me. Everyone has some sort of expertise they will gladly offer on dogs, whether or not it actually works. I thought I knew about dogs but it turns out I REALLY don't. I looked online at different trainers and the first few I found charged in the range of $90 to $130 per hour or per lesson. My heart sank. I could never afford that. That is a fifth of my monthly rent. Then I found a younger lady, which I liked, who charges $60 per lesson. She gives a multiple dog discount, making it $50 per lesson for me. Even though this is much more reasonable, it pains me every time I pay her. Thinking about it brings up all different emotions depending on my current mood. She's a good trainer, don't get me wrong. But I'm a poor student, and I mean really poor. Lots of college kids SAY they're poor when they really have a savings account of $10K just waiting for them to tap into it. Or they have access to money anytime they need it through their parents or grandparents or some rich relative. Sorry, but you can't say you're poor if you're toting around a Venti Mocha from Starbucks on a daily basis. A small drink from a coffee shop is a treat for me and only happens about three times a year. I'm not complaining, for I have chosen this path. I merely am expressing my disgust at people who claim to be poor while sipping their $5 drink or parking in the UA parking garage, or what have you.
Back to training though. It became apparent to me fairly quickly that I was seriously in over my head. I thought I knew a decent amount, but now am willing to freely admit I know very little about dogs. I will be the only one in the dog park who is not a self-proclaimed expert. At this point, I'm just desperate for a change in Revan's behavior. The hardest part in the beginning (and even still) was admitting fault. I was the one who screwed up. It was MY dog who was a terror at the park. My dog who wouldn't listen to me. My dog that had to be tackled to stop him from beating up other dogs. This is hard for me, because it shows my failure. Worse yet, it shows my failure as a parent. I'm not used to failing. In fact, I sometimes avoid trying in order to avoid failing.
We have had five lessons. Eve, my other German Shepherd mix dog, is doing much better than expected with training. Revan is doing well on the leash but it hasn't helped with aggression much. The trainer says that his aggression will decrease as he starts listening to me more and respecting me as the boss.
One of the ways this all started was that I wanted my dogs to have fun and just be dogs. So I let them run around and chase leaves and do fun dog stuff. Even now, when I'm walking them outside, I want to let them chase leaves. That's one of Revan's favorite things. But I can't anymore since he has to listen to me. I'm hoping once he has his training down-pat that I will be able to loosen up and allow him a few doggy pleasures. That time just seems so far away. I have to keep reminding myself that all good things take time. And I can't wait till I have a yard! Six more months, six more months, six more months....