Control Connection

The idea of control was presented in my English 486 class. It made so much sense to me. There is something that happens to each person at a particular age which causes them to mature. Usually, people can't put their finger on one specific thing that caused them to mature and perhaps that is because it is usually a combination of things. But even then, I think people are hard pressed to identify multiple particular events or things that caused them to reach the point at which they are currently. I, myself, have a few things that caused my own maturation, but I don't know if they really caused maturation or merely shadowed my view of the world. But perhaps that is precisely what maturity is, though I'd like to think not. But then I realized, the more "tough" or trying things that happen to an individual, the more mature or wise they are, in general. It is those people who have experienced very little hardship who are immature or know little of the world and their place within it. But does this mean one has to endure hardship to mature? The common link with people who have experienced hardships is usually not that the hardships are similar in nature or the number of hardships or anything of the sort. The similarity of tough experiences is in the realizations that the person arrives at as a result, no matter how subconsciously. The binding tie that all tough experiences, whether it be a death, a severe illness, a departure, or what have you, hold is the lack of control. Reality smacks you in the face once again, with how little each person is and perhaps even the world as a whole. It reminds you of your inability to control life circumstances. Because no matter what you do, shit happens. And the more shit that happens to a person, the more they realize their lack of control.
Perhaps, sad as it is, this is why some abused children end up doing rather well in life. They learn early on that so much is out of their control. Of course, there are also those abuse victims who can't deal with this lack of control and end up in crime or other various undesirable places. The very reason they chose crime is because it gives them the sense of power they never had. Some people will do anything to feel in control. Then there are those who accept that so much is beyond their control and they are usually all the better for it.
I think this realization is usually subconscious for most. For me it certainly was. I think also, though, this realization was overshadowed by grief. I didn't care about anything except the immense pain I felt. And with one experience, the suicide of a friend, there were many unanswered questions.
There are many more things which are out of our control than within it. I think this is why it is helpful for some people to have faith in God. He is a loving being which controls everything that we mere humans cannot.
On a larger scale, this could be the reason many countries have weapons of all sorts. They feel so powerless, so they build an artillery that is powerful enough to kill the world 500 times over. This is their way of attempting to gain control.
On a personal level, I have experienced my share of hardships. I'm ok with not being able to control things. In fact, in some ways it makes things easier. What responsibility it would be to have so much control or to HAVE to maintain control! I like where I'm at while still having aspirations to get somewhere else. I gladly gave control to God long ago. It makes things so much easier.