Social Witness, attempt #1

Here is my first draft of the social witness essay, to which I have made many improvements. If only we were graded on improvement from first draft to final copy!

My grandpa was a great man, very much admired within the small community in which he lived but also on a slightly larger scale. In 2007, he died having lived a long and prosperous life; he fulfilled the all-American dream. Some people believe that capitalism is a system in which few people strike it rich while the masses remain an oppressed populous. However, without this capitalist system, my grandpa wouldn’t have died a successful man. He started at the bottom and made it to the top, through hard work and a commitment to his dream.
Born in a tiny town in south-central Kansas, Harold Dyck was one of six children. His family was of a very conservative religion, as reflected in the way they dressed and the cars they drove. The women could be seen in plain, long dresses with a small, black, cap-like garment covering the backs of their heads, held on by bobby pins, and the men generally wore dark pants and light blue or white button-down shirts with simple black hats. For men, suspenders were not uncommon. As was typical in his community and during his time, Harold only completed the eighth grade. Kids in his family were expected to help out on the farm, and once a kid graduated eighth grade, they became a full-time farmer for their family until they married and began a farm of their own.
But Harold had different ideas. At 16 years of age, the time when a teen is to decide whether they want to join the Church or not, Harold declined the offer. Four years later, at the ripe old age of 20, he married my grandmother, Evie, a devout Mennonite girl of 18. My grandpa tended to agree more with her religion than the one in which he had been raised, despite the striking similarities, and shortly thereafter he joined the Mennonite Church. In the first few years of marriage, as a struggling young couple, Harold took out a bank loan in order to continuing tithing to his church.
From the very get-go, Harold was determined not to be poor, as he had been his whole life. Growing up, his family got by, especially because they made their own clothes and almost never went out to eat or to the movies. They were probably around the poverty line as far as income and number of kids. This lower class lifestyle caused my grandpa to crave more, creating in him a desire to be better, do better, have a better life, all while doing well for others. He was used to hard work, manual labor no less, and would make many sacrifices over the next few decades.
Growing up with parents as farmers and all your relatives as farmers is not something conducive to providing options for other careers. So, Harold used what he knew well, all his years of farming and all his family’s history of farming, and went into business. He and his business partner created a piece of farm equipment that would make harvesting much easier than ever before. They called it the Swather, and it is widely used today. Their business began with only a few employees and today employs hundreds of people. The high school I attended in the same small town that my grandpa began his company likely is the only high school nationwide to have a piece of farm equipment as their mascot: indeed, it is the Swather.
No part of Harold’s dream would have been possible in any other economic system besides capitalism. Through hard work, capitalism allows one to have a vision and eventually realize their dream. Sure, it’s not a perfect system, as there will always exist greedy people but it’s the best system to date. Most other systems tend to favor high test scores and without these, one has no future [need evidence]. I’m planning to be a teacher and have worked in numerous schools with many ages of kids and I will be the first to tell you that there are many smart kids who make low grades and likewise many average kids who earn wonderful grades. Test scores are certainly not an indication of intellect, and the countries who abide by this system are cheating many bright individuals out of a future.